2017 is going to end

First and foremost, this year I’ve been in a two phase which are matriculation and university. It’s degree that everyone was really afraid of. To be precise, no confident. I am not doing well in my studies but it’s okay they said. You have finals.

My mind kept telling me to give up. But, at last it said, you deserve chances. Failure is not forever. Failure don’t make you dies. 

Pretty to be said, I am lucky enough being here with my new friends. They are so fun to be with yet so hardworking. This is what I’ve been longing for. Many good friends. Although they are not the people I’ve been with the longest, but they seems to be a good friend. No matter what, I promised myself before, good friends is one of my strength to keep going. 

This course might giving me so much burden, but I know, this is what God have given me, so there must be a reason. Must.

Nearly the end of first semester

I'm so devastated. 18 December Jonghyun left due to suicide attempt. I could not control my feelings and emotion that I cried every time when I see his videos. I thought about depression too and this thing happens. I literally stunned and could not bear the sadness.

Recently

Right now, I am in my relative house. It was about two hours from home. I was sitting on the floor with my laptop on the couch. Just finished reading one of my books. It took me nearly a year to finish.💦 Hahahahaha I was too busy and didn't have much time to read any book. The book was quite fantastic. I thought it would be boring because I don't understand much for the early half part.

I'm a bit bored so I could do anything I want. So, I choose to read book. Watching movies already being a boring thing. I watched a lot including the dramas.

Around two days ago, I watched Annabelle with my friends. Freak out dude!  😂👀 Fuh, we were so emotional and cringe. Fortunately, it was Tuesday and the cinema wasn't packed with peeps. So, that was our chance to be noisy a lil bit😋

Hahahaha, that's all because I was so bored right now. 😪

The changes

It seems like I'm getting older. Yeah I'm 19 this year. The last teen. I've been wondering about what have changes along those years. Some bad some good.

What I know about the difference was my confidence. I seriously have confidence just as having high self esteem. I don't know how it works out. It started from my azam while I was entering the college life. "I wanna change", "I want to be someone that people know and noticed" . I can't remember but, just like that. Maybe I've got to meet new friends and I think if I change nobody would know that I'm really outstanding. They will just thought that was the real of myself. 

Totally wrong 😂. I am not like that. I was lack of confidence. I was shaking. I think I was ugly and has a dark skin. Too short. Overthinking too badly that I simply can't say a word. There was once, in a big hall, full of students, I was shaking as soon as he wants to pick a random student to answer his question. He didn't choose yet but I was a freak out as he noticed that I was trembling there. Everyone looks at me. LOL💦

But, if now and so on after this, I am barely sure that I am steady to face people and crowd. Shaking and sweating is just normal. But, the face must full of chill. No need to feel people laughing at you, just be deaf towards negativity.👊

Practice your loudness. Honestly until now I am not so good at speaking in front of big crowd. My voice shaking! although I didn't want to. Well, that just how it is because you are not familiar to those situation and you need to beat it. Challenge yourself. I only think about that. And when you're done, you're gonna feel like you did the most people can't do yet. Believe me😎

See you again, excited for USM😁

Next step of study

Well hello guys, straight to the point. 3rd of August was one of my great day since I've got USM Kampus Induk! Session 2017. Thankful for the Almighty for giving me this. It was my first choice. I'm so happy because it was one of my dream though. 

So, right now I was settling my process for registration. The questions, health, card and fees. Due date just around the corner. So, nak taknak kena buat cepat cepat. And can't wait because it was a new surrounding for me since I've never been living out of town or Perak. Since I will live in P.Pinang I can hang out for a while and short vacay with my friends😆 hahaha berangan teruk. Padahal, kena belajar. 

Eh, sapa kata tak suka belajar? I was waiting to learn science computer. I know it's kind of hard or damnn hard from some blogs. Yep, my brother even said it. But, never mind this is my choice. Let me face the struggles. 

About my ambition being those kind of health care, "dah terkubur kot". I totally give up on science subjects. I just can't study hard anymore. I know myself than others do. 

What I know about science computer are, you have to look at the computer most of the time. Thinking and pressure your brain to make a system. I don't mind because laptop or this thing are like my hobby. Well, I'm not that kind of easily give up handling my computer. So, why not I just carry on with this course. Pray for me too. Who knows I might flip my own laptop either than table?😅

That's all I want to explain on my next study which is degree zasss. Degree kot weh😞😫

Eat

Hai, hari Sabtu baru baru ni, aku pergi KL. Dalam pukul 2 macam tu la bertolak. Sebenarnya pergi sana sebab mak aku kesian kat aku. Hahahaha look, I'm really mad this month. Sampai semua orang aku ignore. Takdelah ignore sangat, just being sulk and silent. Lagi satu ade kenduri jiran kitorang yang dah pindah from many years ago. Kire dah mcm bff mak la. 

So, dah sampai sana kitorang which are my brothers n my parent, unpack barang dalam hotel. Then, terus pegi ikea sebab semata mata nak makan meatball. AHAHA first time duh. Tak pernah try makan sana sebab kena beratur panjang.

Then disebabkan kitorang ade 5 so belilah 30 ketul. Kitorang bawak tupperware sbb taknak makan kar situ. Dah rasa and memang sedap weh. Dah la kuah banjir, oh my god I'm at the moon. 

Lepas tu, abang aku pegi bawak kedai makan. Sebab abg aku yg sulong tu dah familiar jalan sana. So dia jela yg drive. So kalau bab makan tu memang best la sedap sedap duh. Dah makan meatball but still boleh makan lagi sebab terlalu sedap.

Takde gambar sebab kalau boleh nak rahsiakan dari adik aku yang duduk asrama. Kalau dia tahu nanti sedih pulak.

So pagi besok tu, makan breakfast roti yang dah memang bawak pun. But, still singgah old town kat seberang hotel. Lepak lepak situ dulu sebelum pegi kenduri. Lagipun, dewan kenduri tu dekat je dengan hotel. Menu here are more. Tak sama la macam yang dekat Tpg.

Then, pegi la kenduri. Hahahahaha, actually family diorang ni kitorang semua memang rapat. Sampai aku panggil mama and baba kat parent diorang. Aku time tu, memang semua suka, sebab comel n kecik lagi. Yang kahwin tu dah masuk anak kedua dah. So time really flies so fast.

Yang jadi pengapit tu adik lelaki dia. Hahahaha ini yang kelakar. Adik lelaki dia tu dulu memang really into me waktu kecik dulu sampai cakap kat his dad that he want to marry me when he's old one day. I know about this through my mom.😂

So, waktu dia nak salam dgn abang abang aku hahahaha malu malu. Yeah those kids times are ridiculous but fun. Waktu kitorang nak balik tu aku tak nampak pulak dia. Then, his mom ask "tak tangkap gambar dengan pengapit ke" and my mom answered, "dia pun segan segan nak jumpa kami ni". Waktu tu aku macam nak tergelak je, sebab soalan rare. Aduhh. 

Oklah, that's all byee

Groove music windows 10

So today rasa macam nak share pasal website ni. Since this is my first time I'm using windows 10, so macam macam la benda yang tak berapa nak pro lagi. Waktu awal awal dulu serius eksited tengok windows 10 ni. Like canggih nya 😂 Lol, padahal biasa je bila dah lama lama guna. 

Bagi yg guna tu, tau tak ade satu music player baru "Groove Music". Waktu first time bukak dulu macam cantik jugak and stylish. Then, I'm the type that like to see the settings, so who knows that I can change the appearance and so whatever. Lepas tu buat background dia jadi dark. And omg cantik ah macam ni😱

Cuma ada satu masalah je pasal player ni, and fed up jugak which is the player cannot be minimize sbb nanti dia mute kan lagu yg tengah play. Geram kannn. Tengah dengar lagu syok syok, then nak bukak google ke ape ke dia stop. 

So tadi saje la try search kat google macam mana nak solve benda tu. And guess what? I made it💫 I found the right link and kalau nak tau step dia macam mana just click THIS . Dia ada 2 jenis solution. I used the 2nd solution.

And try la explore website tu and search anything yang tak puas hati. Saje share sebab so excited😆

What are the things that bothered me

Today, I'm going to list out the things.

I don't like praises. What I mean is I feel uncomfortable when people praise me too hard. I see it as annoying. I do like praises when I need it. Just once in a while. That's nice for me. 

Then, I overthink when people need some privacy to talk and left me out. It's like am I wrong that I cannot hear on your discussion? Hahaha lewls. This is me. Though I make an okay face doesn't mean I'm okay with it😌

I envy when someone had something that I wanted before they even do.

Alarm!! I really hate that since I'm easily awake when hearing the alarm. I may be falling asleep easily and I also can wake up easily.

When you look at me all the time. Like you want to know what I'm going to do next. It's okay but please don't do that. I feel that you are judging me 😅

You said useless thing. Not useless. Sentence that I can't even reply instead of giving you a fake smile. 

You eat my last part of food. I'm not angry. But, you know when you save the last part because it's the special one and someone took within a seconds left. Phewwhh ambiklah, rezeki kau la tu.

Someone triggered me of something that I don't want to remember😫

When someone cry. I just can't do anything but cried toooo😭

When you promise and you fail to keep it. 

Lipas. Lipas dan Lipas oh semut pun.

You are making a good relationship with the one that I hate or dislike

Songs that not fit in my ears & my emotion. 

When my mom falls sick

That's all that I remember. Kalau ada lagi, I will continue. 

Goodnight💤💤

Tips nak hilangkan jerawat dengan mudah dan simple ^^

So straight to the point, aku ada gunakan beberapa cara untuk hilangkan jerawat aku dengan cara yg simple je tapi berkesan. Tapi effect dia tak cepat sangat. Source tips aku dapatkan dari youtube videos. So thank you youtubers!

1. Ubat Gigi 

Calit je ubat gigi and tempekkan dekat jerawat korang. Ikut suka la nak letak lama mana pun. As if macam kau takde ubat jerawat so boleh guna inisiatif ni. Then basuh dengan air suam. Ubat gigi ni banyak kegunaan dia tau. Kalau nak tahu, search la sendiri okay.


2. Ais

Berlapikkan kain bersih then tuam atas jerawat kejap kejap. Berkesan weh seriuss


3. Tomato 

Gunakan tomato dengan lenyekkan dan buat jadi mask. Tapi kena tahan la bau hanyir dia tu


4. Bedak sejuk

Bagi aku pakai bedak sejuk pun okay. Sebab dia kurangkan minyak kat muka and nanti jadi lembut and nampak bersih.

Warm Heart

Is there any chance for me. Is there any space in anyone that I love. I was terrified to think about this. Like there's no single hope.

In this life, we was completely blind by love after all. You love God, you love family, friends and those interests in your mind. It can also be called as affection and fond. Among those types, the most complicated is with the man or the girl that we loved. 

We do not even notice every deep conversations, we mentioned about our crush, our soulmate. What sums up the problems is the trust, the loyal, the way he/she creates our sleepless night. The older we get, the more we think about it. 

I want to have a family when I grown up. I want to see my children grown up with the one that I loved and me. Em.. who does not think about that right? So this must be started from the person that we loved and the one that will be with us most of the time.

Sometimes, when I have found the right person, but eventually nothing was meant for. So, I should wait and not to chase anymore. Many days have passed. No one comes. My imagination of you will never fade if it was going to be like this forever.  

I love to see you happy, but I want that happiness too at the same time. However, finding someone is not going to be easy 

Maybe after I've gone, you'll remember that all those your favorite was because it was my favorite before you did

Seee I am missing you guys already

Fuh, I just finished my Math test today. It was entahlah... might say nightmare. Seriously I forgot to memorize the differentiation thing and it was sum up to be the main point that I can get more marks. However this thing happen. I'm so sad right now because I was getting fail for the test last time.

So what I would like to write in this entry was a random ones. Nah, I always random and please do not assume what I wrote in my previous entry was something that happen to me. It might be yes and no.

Living here in matriculation was giving me such a memorable moment despite all the cries and anger. I learned that tolerance is a very crucial thing you must have in yourself. I think being cool and steady can help you deal with whatever situation. At most, Allah is the one you must think of. If you know Allah, you will be happy. I am very sure.

What I can describe is that people have a lot of characters that you never thought of. That is why the words do not judge a book by it's cover exist. It was not only about appearance after all but also the role that they play.

We are not going to understand them if they act in that way or this way. Everything was not determined from what they did. We should look on the other side.

I will be missing everyone here. I know a lot of them. My very sweet neighbors. They all are kind and we keep smiling each other. We also having a great bond since we will chit chat about class or news during washing clothes or brushing teeth in the bathroom. Lol. The problematic washing machine somehow has it hikmah to make us see each other more hahaha

My classmates. Although I did not like my class because it was boring. There are something that I was also happy to be with them. Em, Nicholas is going to be the one that I really miss maybe since he's very naughty and pissed me of a lot. And we always have that perang mulut until they said enough hahaha aduh. He always asking me about boyfriend. Maybe deep in his heart he wants me to had one. Sorry to say, not interested yet. Ceh, boleh caye ke aku ni. Sukdar pun sama, mesti rindu dia sebab aku nich dengan dia mmg geng malas buat hw. And part paling suka pasal diorang ni walaupun pemalas is diorang akan ajar aku dengan betul betul. Kire mcm prihatin la jugak. Tapi kena tunjuk kat diorang la yg kau mcm tak fahammm. Kalau tak diorang buat biase jela. Kadang kadang nak duduk kat diorang dalam kelas tapi rasa mcm awkward pulak bila berkepit dengan lelaki. Haih

Actually aku tak minat la nak bercinta dengan orang kat sini. Suka tu biasalah banyak je. 

Ok next person that I will miss roommates kot. Seronok dapat roommate cute ni. Tengok hari hari muka muka innocent dan memang innocent pun.Well, aku adelah tak puas hati dengan roommate aku sorang ni, tapi dia baik je cuma terlepas pandang yg character dia over kadang kadang.

My teammates, lecture mates ah banyak lagi random people kenal kat sini even iftar, memanah and sooo many acitivites. Bila fikir balik, banyaknya orang yang baik dengan aku. Paling terharu sebab diorang ingat aku and nama dahlah siap hai lagi bila bertembung. Sumpah rasa macam "oh friendly and approachable jugak aku ni"

Thank you guys, for playing your roles in my life for this whole semester. Will be missing every single thing a lot.

Beneath

I was a bit in the place of eager to have you. Nevertheless, I would not get the chance just to see you happy. What makes you happy always make me in the same way though it's kind of hard sometimes.

The other side of me, strongly agree that you and I will be on different path and no longer a bunch of flowers that I imagining to keep blossoming anymore. Destined is more beautiful than this for sure.

Thank you God for letting me love someone that I would never expect and had many good traits despite of the flaw. At least I'm not falling for the wrong person. Have a happy life man. Do wish me well too.

What's better for us, indeed Allah knows better. Keep going through the rotating clock with the faith and positiveness in yourself.

Cheer up! 사랑해, Iffa 

Muet Speaking Done!!

Yeayy!! I've already done my MUET speaking. LOL, to tell, it was already few days ago to be so excited. Nah.. Lame

My session was 7.30 am. But, I'm in the last group.

Hahaha it was a green light for me. I mean the way I speak. I satisfied with it. I got my point somehow in the middle of gelabah moment. When she said you can now look at the question and read for 1 minute. 

I was a candidate C in a sudden due to their willing to have last group having 4 people instead of 3. So, I am changing my position as candidate B to candidate C. I was terrified but never mind I just want to focus on my speaking and do my best.

We were given the question on how to safe the environment. Oh man! this is cool. Then I look below it and that blink-blink moment coming as you need to explain "by reducing food waste". Just what in the world was that. How am I going to elaborate on this.

So, I just keeping merapu non-stop but still on the right track. Although it turns out like that. I was glad to hear from the other candidate saying my speaking was fluent and there is confidence in it.

Sorry, got to go now. That's the short story version. Update sooner with new days!

Glance

There are so many question knocking in my mind. Because your eyes were always giving a sign that I have to figure out. Pretending that nothing was happening since it was the best thing to do. Staring means longing and a big hope. And that's the thing that was being untold. Even so, I couldn't find genuine.

Do you ever know how hard it is to be longed for something. The most invisible thing that a person can find out and so they couldn't. Sometimes, we just take a glance so that the longed can no be longer a burden for a while. Just a moment of glance

Sem 2

Assalamualaikum!!

Today I get some refreshment and new energy to not give up. So please hope the best for me. Omg seriously I have gone through a lot of things and I even fall my tears sometimes. But, since these things kept dragging me. I am trying to oppose it. Opposing of how do I feel. Because so, I can have a free heart. Then, I can focus on my study!!

My result are bad though. So I am taking step by step to achieve a better improvement. Wish me luckkk T_T

Tough, well tough being here. My classmates are all very well educated I can say. Well, maybe that was because of their hardworking, instead of me being online plus sleeping early. pfftt.

These frustrated feels.
I will just ignore it. Ignore it until I am immune with it. That is all I can do.

I got many friends here. And what is good that it keeps growing by times. Some can get along with me, and some may not. But, thanked God, I manage to not having any quarreling. See ya !